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A Part of Me is Missing

June 27, 2009

As great as this summer has been so far, I know there is something missing. Months ago, the only thing I wanted to do was run. It was my heart, soul and passion. It’s my stress relief and my way to challenge myself. I feel so good, so CLEAN when I’m running…I miss it like no other. Swimming and pool runs are great, but will never be the same. The elliptical is annoying but at least I can get in that zoned-out zone. I miss being on the roads with nobody else, just me my lungs and my thoughts, gradually becoming clearer with every stride I take. I miss fartleks and tempos and long runs, I miss intervals and repeats and that “my watch made me happy” feeling. I miss the sports bra and watch tan lines that you can’t acquire in an indoor pool. I miss my team and that sense of accomplishment in the back of my head. All day, it used to be there… I ran 10 miles today… as I showered, ate, talked with friends, or did schoolwork. Running makes me feel so invincible, so confident and proud. It puts a bounce in my step.

I miss it.

I miss being able to walk with a friend for 45 minutes without worrying about how my ankle will hold up, I miss a time where I iced to prevent things, not because I have to. I miss the times before PT and MRIs and other things with initials. I WANT TO BE BACK.

I haven’t really been sulking, but this has been bothering me for a while. I’ve kept generally positive and I needed to get this off of my chest. What can I do right now? What can I do to make sure I’m BACK for fall ’09? MAKE MOVES.

I need to start doing a strength training routine. If that’s all I can do in a day, so be it, but there’s no reason I can’t gain muscle while waiting for this to heal. I need to get to the gym, as often as possible… and take advantage of every minute there. I need to gain and keep my weight up, so when I’m cleared nothing will stop me. I need to improve my flexibility, and do more injury prevention. I need to be super diligent about my physical therapy exercises and stretches. And I need to remember- when I do come back, no matter how discouraged, how far behind, or how much pain I feel, I can GET BETTER than where I was. This isn’t the end, and running will come with me where ever I go.

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